What was the rabbit late for, wondered Alice,
I never did find out. I wonder why?
I’ll try to say this kindly, without malice,
But really, said the peacock, you should try
To pay some more attention as you travel
To what your senses, eyes, and ears, and nose
Try very hard to tell you through the dazzle
Of surfaces, on which way the wind blows.
The rabbit has a watch, and what’s unpleasant,
A watch he looks at fifty times a day.
It keeps the rabbit’s thoughts outside the present:
That makes him late for life in every way.
The 1oo-word challenge for grown-ups at Julia’s Place. This week’s prompt was my first line.
And for the undaunted: T. Mastgrave’s prompt this week is “Demons”.
I adore the ease with which you’ve flitted from line to line; great poem 🙂
Thanks! I’m not a poet, I very well know it. But a few nonsense rhymes are just within reach…
Love, love, love! Getting rid of watches was one of the best things I ever did.
Good for you, I’m afraid I still need it. I do try not let it boss me around too much, though ;-).
What a twist! I love it! When words step outside of expectations, that is my favorite thing…
I’m glad you like it. The unexpected is sort of what one expects in Alice, isn’t it.
Nice piece, written well. Look forward to seeing how the ending is used
Thanks. I did worry a bit about the ending: rhyme, metre, 100 words and a “good” ending were a bit of a challenge.
I like this very much. It is in the spirit of Akice, it is economical, it is witty.
Thanks. I did try to keep it Alice-y.
I never thought to write a poem. I like yours, especially the last verse. It is a difficult prompt for next week though. 🙂 Here is my piece for this week:
http://366degree.wordpress.com/2012/03/28/an-invitation-to-tea/
Cheers!
Thanks for letting me know. I’m not a big versifier, but I thought I’d risk the nonsense verse. I agree the prompt will be a bit difficult, though better than my original draft was ;-).
Excellent and very appropriate 🙂
Thank-you kindly.
Well done! I love the flow and rhyme, and that’s a great illustration for it too.
Thanks. I started with a pelican, but couldn’t make it scan. And of course one can imagine a peacock being a bit haughty.
I love this. Love the peacock, and I love the last two lines.
How very true!
Great poem.
Thanks very much.
I am sometimes a bit like the rabbit myself, hoping to become more of a peacock someday.
What could I possibly add? It’s all been said already. I like the new take.
Thanks. I liked yours very much, and have written a sequel.
Now this is so deep! It is a good warning to those of us clock watchers that life is passing without us taking part. Thank you so much for joining the 100WCGU & I’m looking forward to seeing how you translate someone else’s 10 words. More poetry maybe!
How kind. I am very glad to have come across the 100wcgu. Thanks for setting the challenge.